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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

2023

This is basically what my gym looks like. Also, I wonder if my hair is finally long enough for a sock bun.
High schoolers go to my gym. I'm pretty sure nobody else in the gym tonight can legally drink. Or vote. It's. just. Great. I just watched a 16 year old bench his girlfriend. To be fair, I'm pretty sure I could bench his girlfriend.
Two of the other ones are next to each other on the elliptical talking about whether they can get an upper classman to take them to prom and which one? and if they cant get one of the good ones should they settle for someone less desirable just so they can go? Do they think an ugly guy would pay for their dress for the privilege of touching them? And today of all days I didn't bring head phones. Just a book. But even a good book can't block this out.

Girls, I'm trying to sweat out roughly four days of drinking and it's ALREADY really unpleasant. I skipped the gym for a month, then showed up with four loko still in my system. I didn't need help making this miserable.

There are cheerleaders doing toe touches in the mirror where I'm watching myself grunt through 85 lb squats that were definitely easier a month ago. I could do toe touches ten years ago, too, my dears. Come see me in 2023.

On the bright side, the girl who stood in for her boyfriends exercise equipment just tried to squat the bar and made a really ugly noise. So there is that.

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