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Monday, September 27, 2010

Just another night with the fam

My brother and I were harassing my mother. Pretty standard operation. I don't remember what he said to warrant such a serious response but she came back with:

"I'll curse your colon."

My brother: --blank stare--
Me: --blank stare--


My brother: Well you know what mom? I wish only the best for your colon.

And no, there is absolutely NO context here. I have nothing to offer in the way of explanation. Nothing.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Okay, so Scarlet has got some competition

Double competition really. Because Joan, is fucking fantastic. And Christina Hendricks, is also fucking fantastic. She's out of control sexy and also...this letter to men that she wrote for Esquire is perfect.
Planning to be Joan for Halloween. Need to find a gold pen to wear around my neck.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

That's all.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Thanks, April.

Amazing!! It told us that April prepped our pizza. Then it told us when she put it in the oven! Then it told us when she inspected it for perfection. And then when it was delivered (BY APRIL!!!! omg it was really her). It told us it was here. Thank you Domino's.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Two weeks of lovely

This week I've been grumpy and so I'm going to go ahead and reflect on the two weeks before, which were just lovely.
Going to work in sections, backwards. Whatever, I do what I want.

Eugene Celebration
This last weekend was spent in Eugene with Jessica and Jason. Friday was a mellow evening at the Eugene Celebration (Jason and I were exhausted from camping and Jessica was/is deathly ill). Saturday morning Jason was kind enough to feed us at the dorms. The dorms still smell strangely homey to me. Especially dorm stairs. Ohhh, housing, how I sporadically miss you. The afternoon was spent getting our amazing feathers. Still love them.(plug: Jesse at Imagine Salon downtown did them!) Then Jason fed us at the dorms again. This is probably good because otherwise we wouldn't have eaten as we have no dolla dollas.
Drinking(loko) began at eight. Jessica puked and rallied at 9. Green housing water bottles were filled with vodka cran at 9:30. From there I have no idea of time. I wonder why.
We made our way to the McDonald to see Beats Antique who I had never heard of before but man oh man what an amazing show. I was sore for DAYS from dancing. Now, this is partially due to my trying to keep up with/dance with Jason. This cannot be done unless you have numbed yourself to pain. Which I had. But you will pay. And I did.
After the show we made our way to Jameson's (where everybody knows your name) for water. Yeah, we congregated around the water cooler. It was necessary. Here, we met up with some friends of Jason's. There is a girl, we'll call her Lowselfesteem. There are two guys. We'll call them Jasoncurious and Likestomakeoutwithjessica. Blah Blah Blah we're all tired we walk back to Jason's. He has been causing gay man drama on facebook all night and the moment we walk into the building he runs into the office downstairs and says "I gotta check my facebook GET OUTTA HERE." Right, the rest of us head upstairs.
I crash on Jason's bed, which is where I had planned on sleeping that night. Jason's bed is quite large, as it is two dorm beds pushed together. So when Jess and Likestomakeoutwithjessica laid down on the other bed, I didn't think much of it. But wait, why is someone touching me? Oh look, it's Jasoncurious. And Lowselfesteem is behind him. They want to have a cuddle party. I kid you not. I'm resisting and Jasoncurious tells me that I am the middle piece of bread in the Big Mac and that I'm crucial. Crucial.
He then tells Lowselfesteem that she is the bottom piece of bread. The ass of the sandwich if you will. I feel bad for her sorta. I am now in a spooning sandwich. A Big Mac made of people. I fall asleep, half expecting to wake up in the middle of an orgy.
Luckily, Jason comes in and basically tells everyone to leave. Jessica gets her wits about her and decides that we need to go home. Yes. Yes we do. On our exit, I hear Jasoncurious (who has a girlfriend but apparently sleeps with Lowselfesteem regularly.) asking Jason if he'd like to fuck. No thank you Jason says. I linger in the room until Jasoncurious gets the hint and peaces out. Jason will ask in the morning why we all left him alone in his room.
Camp Ridderbusch 2010
There was a Ridderbusch flag. There were many flag ceremonies. There was tequila night. There were people passed out on the hill. There was much hullabaloo about Jason and I and our hookah. There was beautiful beach time and myballsjustcrawledupinsideme river time.
My family rocks.
There was also a wedding (congrats Davebob). With a nacho cheese fountain. During the reception we made a HUGE scene by insisting that all the Ridderbi take a photo together. Screaming people's names across the reception space was probably the best way to accomplish this.
The week before
So, the week before my vacation just happened to be full of wonderful. My company picnic at Oaks Park was on Friday. So, I got a half day at work which is ALWAYS awesome. Melissa was my plus one (duh) and we went on rides(screaming the whole time 'we're too old for this!!!') until we almost threw up. It was really fun. At the time. I had to go home and sleep for 3 hours to recover. We also got our faces painted by a CRAZY lady. I asked her for swirlies with gold. She drew rainbow hearts with squiggles...uh? swirlies are not squiggles. sheesh.
Thursday was tofu sloppy joes and Comedy Central with the man friend. Lovely except Joseph has jealousy issues about his dog and had to be put in his kennel for the evening. You win some you lose some.
Wednesday was really wonderful. Pushkina suggested that we go out to Edgefield to see a free show from a guy named Ben Smith(download his CD if you like country). He's delightful. We swooned. We sighed. We vowed to take a trip to Texas. The weather was gorgeous. There were lights in the trees. Our server was a bit of a twat and I had to go through a lot to get some tots in my body but besides that, wonderful. It was just overall a really great evening with my life partner.
Tuesday was also man friend time. But including man friend's man friends-who I freaking adore, and who were gossiping like 13 year old girls. So, more fantastic in my life.
Monday David Z suggested sunset and wine at Tabor. He's so full of good ideas, that man is. He told me about his trip to Hawaii (jealous!) and we watched the sunset over Portland and it was happy and pretty and perfect.
Freaking great week. Two weeks. Freaking great life actually. Yay for being surrounded by amazing people.

And now, photographic evidence.

View of Portland Sunset from Mt. Tabor

Ben Smith breaking our hearts at Edgefield.

Pushkina with her rogue iris and me with my rainbow hears (wtf)

Snuggle time at the beach. Jason was so lovely for being my manpanion for the whole camping trip.

Beats Antique. During their encore. With terrifying animal masks on.

Jess and I at Jameson's lovin up on eachother. Those glasses don't have lenses. They belonged to Jasoncurious.
Hey folks, if you're reading this regularly, I finally added a follow button to the page. So, if you feel like clicking the button, you can.
k bye.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

You know you're poor when eighty nine cents in your bank account is cause for celebration

Instant mood lift?
Grudgingly (and really with one eye closed, sort of turning away from the computer screen- the same way you look at things that are really terrifying or disgusting) logging onto your bank account to see exactly how screwed you are only to find that you have just barely squeaked by.
No overdraft fees for me!!