Recent Posts

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Can you find them?

The event I'm working on right now is our Quilt Show which takes place at the end of January. This is a description of one of the quilts submitted. It made me laugh. (And then cry because laughing causes involuntary tongue movement.)

"Using...raw edge collage technique and leaf-printed material form my fabric collection, I designed this tribute to the Autumn season.

Feeling it lacked something, I resolved the problem by hiding a few kittens among the leaves. Can you find them?"

Sometimes you just gotta hide some kittens.


I'm having surgery today. Nubbin surgery. About a year ago I bit my tongue/burned my tongue/said something so awesome that my tongue couldn't handle it and got one of those angry tastebuds right on the tip. You know the ones. Then it stopped hurting but it stayed there. And now it's about the size of half of a pea. I know, doesn't sound big but I mess with it constantly. Nothing like being in a business meeting and noticing you've been twirling your nubbin on your canine for at least 30 seconds. Professional.
So I'm headed to Kaiser where a doctor who actually wears the reflective head thing-
and hippy clothes and crocs- is going to remove my nubbin. She says it will just feel like I bit my tongue really hard. That's a comfort. Biting my tongue always feels so good.
I also can't eat spicy or salty things for a while. So, I'm not really sure what I'm going to eat.

UPDATE: 1pm. Fuckity fuck. Ouchity fuck. Don't get tongue surgery. Just keep your nubbins.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Nothing interesting

Nothing too interesting has been happening. Or I just haven't been paying attention. It's probably the second one. I'll try to be more aware of my surroundings.
I had dinner with my friend Beth at this quaint little place. You may have heard of it. It's called the Olive Garden. It must really be catching on because there are always tons of people there.
Beth and I have planned at least 100 weddings to multiple suitors there over the years. We go to the Olive Garden and we talk about weddings and then also about how poor we are-while we eat super overpriced microwaved mass produced Italian food. But it's so good, or at least it's mediocre and completely predictable and comforting. We talk about other things too, but we don't like to neglect weddings and poverty. When we get married and rich I don't even know what we'll do.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


My work holiday party was this last Saturday night and may or may not have turned into a bit of a shit show on my end. It's possible that I ended the night with Pat and a coworker drinking whipped vodka and sprite in a kitchen until 5:30am. It's also very likely that Pat was sweating whipped vodka and consequently smelled like a gay bar all day Sunday.
Even before this last weekend I had decided to take on the challenge of not drinking for a month. Trying to save money and calories. I have to say I'm not very confident that this will pan out.

1/14 update- have successfully avoided drinking alcohol so far.  It's kindof the worst. I miss beer.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Thought Catalog

I've recently become a bit of a twitter addict. Not that I actually tweet very often. I mostly just stalk Ryan Seacrest and Josh Groban. I get alerts on my phone so that I find out really important things like when Kanye and Kim are pregnant and when congress finally comes to a semi-non-compromise on the fiscal cliff.
Recently, though, the most addicting part of twitter for me is getting updates from Thought Catalog(if you don't know what it is, google it). Sometimes they are terrible but now and again there's a gem. Today this one came up and I just love it. Enjoy.

What Others Leave For You To Keep

Jan. 4, 2013
There are others. More than you can comprehend. They’re everywhere you go and you’ll meet some of them.
Some of these other people will naturally establish themselves as an apparent fixture in your life, and change how life looks to you. This is called a relationship. If the person stays around for months or years, your relationship with them might begin to feel permanent.
It’s not. Relationships are conditions, not things. They all have to end at some point. But they will leave something behind for you to keep.
There are different kinds, different styles of rapport between you and The Other: polite, uneasy, romantic, platonic, confusing. We tend to slot them into distinct types — friendships, courtships, marriages, business partnerships — but they’re all fundamentally the same thing. Two people overlap, experience each other’s thoughts and ideas, absorb each other’s values, and learn from each other’s stories. Personalities leak into other people when those people get close enough.
This happens all the time, and it is always temporary. The overlap comes to an end and the parties diverge and drift away. It could be after 72 hours of traveling together, or after a summer internship working together, or after 55 years of marriage. If nothing else ends it, death will.
This means that life is essentially a solo trip. You’ll have this endless parade of visitors, though, which is nice. Characters you couldn’t have imagined will appear, stay for a minute or maybe a few months or maybe many years, and then leave you to your trip.
Welcome visitors, as a general rule. Their purpose is to aid the solo traveler in figuring out how to enjoy the world.
Most people will enter and exit your life without your noticing much. Some of them will make a big splash though. Some visitors will be decidedly special. You’ll know.
The most valuable experience a person can have is an overlap with this kind of person. The defining characteristic of one of these people is that they make it impossible for you to remain the same person by the time they make their exit.
Each one of these people, by the time your paths diverge, will have changed you in a way that is evident to others who know you.
You probably will not recognize quite what’s happening at the time. You will feel something though. The feeling of windows opening.
However this particular overlap goes, whatever experiences it’s made of, ecstatic ones or awful ones — a few months or years down the road, you’re different. You’re better. Something that was hard is now easy, something that was daunting is now familiar, something you were once skeptical about you now love.
You will be left with some beliefs you didn’t have before. You will value certain things more than you did, and other things less than you did.
Maybe you’ve never thought about it, but you’ve had this happen to you, several times by now. It will happen again and again. You have no idea who is on their way to meet you. They have no idea either.
At any given moment, any time, any day of your existence, you can look at your whole life as a vast collection of experiences, and recognize that all of it adds up exactly to who you’ve become today. Who you became depended — to a degree you may never appreciate — on who you happened to run into while you were out in the world doing your thing. You could have been so many different people.
All relationships are temporary. They change form and texture as time passes, and they eventually go.
If it’s been a special one — with a lover, an important teacher, a parent – its absence can be a heavy one. Almost tangible. You can feel the presence of their absence. The Other is gone. An empty desk, an unused pillow, an open doorway with no one standing in it.
But you’re still there, and you’re better than you were.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

I'm a really good sister.

My brother Andy and his girlfriend were in Portland for New Year's Eve and the next day we were all sitting around nursing our hangovers and talking about how much he looks like my dad, I look like my mom, etc.

I have an old photo of my parents from when my mom was pregnant with me and I pulled it out so we could compare and contrast. It's in the same frame as it was when my grandma gave it to me after my great grandmother died(I pulled it out of a box of her stuff and asked to keep it)  and my brother got curious and opened up the back. There were a couple more pretty great photos but also...this.

It is a two-sided document outlining the perfect sleepover and also my plan to 'get Andy.'

Perfect Sleepover
1. prank calls (and Jaci)
2. get Andy!
3. dress up
4. talk all night
5. girl scouts
Get dart Guns
Put rocks in pillow
Whip cream on alarm clock

What I'm not sure about is how it ended up behind the frame. I can only imagine that I was hiding it so that in the future I could carry out "The PLAN" in complete secrecy.
Rocks in his pillow? Really? Seems a bit much. Although I think that he once put a cat hairball on my pillow. Or did I do that to him? It's all a blur. Judging by my handwriting I'm going to date this document late elementary/early middle school.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


This is basically what my gym looks like. Also, I wonder if my hair is finally long enough for a sock bun.
High schoolers go to my gym. I'm pretty sure nobody else in the gym tonight can legally drink. Or vote. It's. just. Great. I just watched a 16 year old bench his girlfriend. To be fair, I'm pretty sure I could bench his girlfriend.
Two of the other ones are next to each other on the elliptical talking about whether they can get an upper classman to take them to prom and which one? and if they cant get one of the good ones should they settle for someone less desirable just so they can go? Do they think an ugly guy would pay for their dress for the privilege of touching them? And today of all days I didn't bring head phones. Just a book. But even a good book can't block this out.

Girls, I'm trying to sweat out roughly four days of drinking and it's ALREADY really unpleasant. I skipped the gym for a month, then showed up with four loko still in my system. I didn't need help making this miserable.

There are cheerleaders doing toe touches in the mirror where I'm watching myself grunt through 85 lb squats that were definitely easier a month ago. I could do toe touches ten years ago, too, my dears. Come see me in 2023.

On the bright side, the girl who stood in for her boyfriends exercise equipment just tried to squat the bar and made a really ugly noise. So there is that.

I'd butter your pop tart.

Sometimes you go through your whole life thinking that the things you do are normal- or at least normal ish. Then you find out that nobody else wants to go see Sugar Ray at the casino(seriously guys I still don't get this) or you innocently mention that a buttered cinnamon pop tart would be delicious right about now and then people who you thought were your friends turn out to be butter hating jerks.

Luckily, you will have another friend who is like "well, duh. Is there any other way?" and then you'll look at each other and make a face that says seriously what is wrong with these people?

This turned into quite a debate so naturally I asked the internet what it thought.
First of all- buttering pop tarts has a facebook page. Which means it's a real thing. 
Also, Jessica Simpson did it when she was pregs. Don't know if that makes it more or less legit.
This message board is dedicated to the question- to butter or not to butter. But then there are sub-debates. If you butter, do you butter on the frosted or unfrosted side (I go frosted) and which flavors are best buttered (cinnamon and smores)?