Famous people I want to have dinner with

These are people I think would be a genuinely good time.

Ryan Seacrest- I think he's probably a really great guy. And also can make fun of himself. Zombie Idol.

Mike Rowe- Watch any bloopers from Dirty Jobs. He's kind of an ass hole but in the best way.

Scarlett Johanssen- Because I want her babies.

Obama- Cliche but I swoon (mentally and physically) whenever that man opens his mouth.

Tom Hanks- duh.

...That's all I can think of

On the Rocks

Probably my favorite thing about the University of Oregon was the A Capella. On the Rocks and their sister-group Divisi perform every Friday afternoon at 4pm in addition to 2-3 larger concerts per year. They put out CDs (I have all of them) and occasionally tour the country. I've been a huge fan since freshman year when a friend of mine joined the group and I dragged the girls from my hall to go see them sing. We were smitten. A group of men singing and dancing and being hilarious. They were just so dreamy. We stuck around for Divisi and they were just incredible. We were hooked and have been ever since. I listen to OTR and Divisi on probably a daily basis.
Recently they headed to the East Coast to perform and decided to Rick Roll the NYC subway. One of the guys took a video and put it on youtube. It went viral and the guys have appeared on morning talk shows and been blogged, tumblr'd, tweeted, and facebook status'd.
Then, they took a video of their newest performance of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. It's a pretty typical number for them- great vocals and fantastic/hilarious choreography and all of a sudden they're EVERYWHERE. This morning Ashton Kutcher tweeted their video. Joe Jonas apparently did the same.
So guys-congratufuckinglations. How does it feel to be tweeted by one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people (AND Ashton ranks third, only behind Obama and Gaga, on their social media influence index)? This is awesome and you totally deserve it.

You can google them and find more but here are a couple of links:

Rick Rolled

Rick Rolled (more)

OTR on Tumblr

Huffington Post- Gaga

Bad Romance Friday 4pm Performance

ps guys- now that you're big time celebrities...maybe ask someone in the J School to design a better logo.

My family is inappropriate.

My Uncle's facebook status:

Rob Ridderbusch Day number 5 at Dairy Queen School. I think making ice cream treats is the second most fun way to get sticky.

Cherry Sours

I want them in and around my mouth.

I'm daydreaming at work

And right now, what I want most is to be in my bed with minimal clothing, under the covers with the windows open. I want tots with ranch and mustard. I want a Pepsi but it needs to be in a big plastic cup with a lid and a straw. And I want an egg salad sandwich. I want my dog curled up on my feet to keep them warm but I want him to stay the fuck away from my tots. And I want to be watching Grey's on my laptop. Why am I at work?

Most recent obsession

Bloody Marys. I can't stop thinking about them. I might start making virgin ones at work. I just cannot get my mind off of the spicy tomatoey goodness.

Exciting Work Day

To: All Users
Subject: If I could fill a swimming pool with anything in the world...

…I would fill it with census tract data. That’s why I was so excited to share this link with you. Some of you probably already have it bookmarked because it’s so wonderful but in case you don’t…it tells you how to read census tracts (I’m a self taught census tract reader but don’t let that intimidate you) and has a list of ALL THE 2000 CENSUS TRACTS divided into two alphabetical documents by state. Uh. Mazing. You’re welcome.

http://www.census.gov/geo/www/tractez.html

ps- I’ve only begun to skim the surface of all the freaking fantastic knowledge on this particular page of the census bureau’s website but I’m sure there are many more treasures and treats in store.

Mary Ridderbusch

Receptionist/Admin Assistant

United Fund Advisors

Portland Family of Funds

24 NW First Avenue, Suite 470 Portland, Oregon 97209

D: 503.546.2644 C: 503-871-8328 O: 503.226.1370 F: 503.796.5865

www.unitedfundadvisors.com

www.portlandfunds.com

*Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail.

I've set a pretty high email standard for myself over the past 5 months but I think this email might be a new personal best. Just doing my part to ease the strain during Application Season (read: the month of everyone living at the office and not shaving)

Last month I cooked

So I made this delicious pizza last month and took pictures and everything and now I am finally finally putting it up. K, here goes

The first time I made this pizza I made it vegan. I found the croissant crust idea on some vegan cooking site. Sorry don't remember which. In June when I (hopefully) get the willpower to go back to being vegan I will do that again. For now, I will just let you know how to alter it to make it vegan, if such things appeal to you. However, I respectfully ask that you don't add meat to it. Because, gross. And sad.

First, you buy croissants. The Pillsbury ones are vegan. At least last time I checked. Then buy artichoke hearts, asparagus, Morningstar chicken meal starters, onions, zucchini, and tomato sauce (that is, if your daddy doesn't make it for you from his garden)

The night before, or whenever really, you should cook your asparagus and have like half of it with your dinner. Put it on a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with seasoning salt. Put it in the oven and cook it until the tips are crunchy and the rest is soft. Unless that isn't how you like your asparagus. Then cook it a different way instead of my way. Eat half with your dinner and then cut it up into little pieces and set aside/put in the fridge for your pizza. Try not to eat all of it before you make the pizza. This is hard.

Now, open your croissants. Unroll all of them. You now have two choices. You can use the triangles to create a circle or you can mush it all into a ball and then roll it/smush it back into a circle. I smush because the triangles just never fit together the way I think they should. Put your croissant/pizza dough on a baking sheet and cook it for a little while. About half way-ish? (my recipe is really exact huh?)

While pre/half cooking your croissant, cut up your onions, artichoke hearts, and zucchini and saute with the Morningstar Chicken in olive oil and minced garlic until the veggies are mostly cooked and you can cut the chicken into smaller pieces with your spatula. Cut your chicken into smaller pieces. Note- while I am writing this I am thinking that green bell peppers would have been a good addition.

Pull the croissant out and put fresh garden vegetable marinara on it.

Or if you aren't a Ridderbusch, put prego or whatever tomatoey goodness you want on it. OR, the first time I made it I used home made vegan alfredo sauce and it was delicious. I did this to add the creamy taste that would be missing without cheese. Both ways are good. Or maybe next time I will use tomato sauce on the bottom and then drizzle vegan alfredo on top for fake cheese effect. Gosh I'm full of good ideas.

So now, you add chicken, onions, asparagus, artichoke hearts, zucchini, and maybe peppers. I sprinkled parmesan cheese on it this time but it really didn't need it and without it the pizza would have been vegan and therefore superior.

Put it back in the oven and cook until it looks done. I like the veggies to look crispy on the edges and the dough to be pretty brown/crispy on the edges.

A few notes:
Whole Foods and other such places carry vegan pizza dough usually. This is classier and also much more expensive than croissants but might be tastier. The croissant is a different taste for sure. It's a little sweet and I think it's good but maybe not for everyone.
Vegan sausage can be REALLY good and would probably be delicious on this pizza.
Roasted garlic would also be delicious.


So, there you have it. Last month I cooked and it was delicious. And I'm bad at writing recipes. Or any kind of instructions really. Sorry.

Total Domination

I played a kickball double header this last Sunday and my team, Kicking Some Sunday Mass, won BOTH games. The second game was against Melissa's team. See Below.

The only way I know how to describe this is BOOmotherfuckingYA.

ps-yes, this is my third or fourth post of the day. It's a bloggy kind of day.

My sister from another mister (does that make sense?)

People think we're related. I would have her babies...does that count?


Beth with my ID and her ID on her 21st. She's a year younger so I gave her mine when I hit that magical age and got a new one.

So I know this is bordering on obsession...

...but I googled Skate Palace and found this video and I almost cried.

This is a backwards skate. Backwards skating only. If you cannot backwards skate, please exit the floor

So my good friend Beth (also known as my twin. That probably deserves a blog post. stay tuned) saw my post about Skate Palace and had the following to contribute to my memories:
#1-the DJ at Skate Palace WAS a hot piece of ass. RIGHT?!
#2-please don't forget about the whimsical mountain scenes glo-painted on the walls. Oh, I could never forget. I miss that beautiful scenery. However, if you really need glo-painted mountains, there is a bar in Portland that I can take you to.
#3-I may...or may not...have a dream of making a "Skate Palace" playlist on my iPod, fully equipped with "No scrubs", "YMCA" & many other earthly delights. Me too! I would also add 'always be my baby', 'rollin', 'brass monkey' and I really want to find the wreck skate song...
#4-10 bucks says we were both there, both rocking white (because of the black lights) and people probably thought we were the same person. Yes, definitely a twinsy post to come. Beth, heads up I'm putting your beautiful face on my blog.

Beth's list got me thinking of another Skate Palace wonder.
They had the best sticker machines in town. The best. My brother and I (along with everyone else) collected those fifty cent stickers from the machines. I still have my collection in my memory chest and in a lime green binder no less. I encountered one of these machines this weekend and holy shit- they're still fifty cents. Good to know that some things never change.

This is an all skate in the normal skating direction

I used to have some rockin' quad skates like these. But mine had better laces and some Tommy Hilfiger dealy on them. Obviously superior. Back in the day, I used to frequent Skate Palace in Salem. It has since been closed down because of violence/drugs but these are the things I remember about Skate Palace:

Smelling like dirty money for a day afterward
Having my Carrera's (see above) checked before entering to make sure they were rink-approved
Wreck-skating
Always wearing white in order to take full advantage of the black light
The DJ, Darren, who we all had huge crushes on
The Giant Dice
Rivalries, crying, catfights, crushes
Couple Skating
Red Light, Green Light and all the bruises that came along with it
Feeling cooler than I've ever felt in my life when I put on my skates

About a month ago I convinced some of my friends to go to Skate World with me in Springfield. Now, sadly I gave away my skates sophomore year when I moved out of the dorms. I thought they were too clunky to carry around with me and this is legitimately one of the biggest regrets of my life. SO, I had to wear some of the good old brown and orange ones which made it a little difficult to re-master my skillz but of course I kept going in the face of adversity and was a complete show off the entire time. I was also the happiest I can remember being in years. Not to say that I'm not happy a lot- I really really am. However, this was like turbo-happiness.

I also got hit on by 12 year olds. Three boys, still wearing their middle school football jerseys from their game earlier in the afternoon and all with their own skates (obviously cool kids), hovered for a while before they sent one of them over "my friend thinks you're hot. and you're a really good skater. peace"
Yeah. Right. Those kids have some balls. I don't even look young.
This pretty much continued for the rest of the time we were there.
Jason caught up with one of them outside and told them I thought they were hot too and I hope that by now the story has morphed and they are still talking about that time they made out with a college girl at Skate World. I hope.
You can't really see the unbridled joy here but it's definitely there. This rink even had a blue floor and horrible seventies carpet like my Skate Palace.

Administrative Professionals Appreciation Day

Today is a day to celebrate the women (and I suppose men) who run your life. Below is an email exchange from this afternoon.

I sent to Tracy:
I think that it is a grave oversight that we have failed to acknowledge that administrative professional’s appreciation day (formerly secretary appreciation day) is in fact today. I wonder how we should make this up to ourselves. I also wonder why there weren’t bottles of wine and gift baskets on our desks when we got to work today, Oh wait, that’s because we didn’t do it.

Tracy sent to the Management Team:
I think that it is a grave oversight that you all have failed to acknowledge that administrative professional’s appreciation day (formerly secretary appreciation day) is in fact today. Mary, I wonder how we should make this up to ourselves. I also wonder why there weren’t bottles of wine and gift baskets on our desks when we got to work today, Oh wait, that’s because we didn’t do it.
This HAS to be because you are all so very busy this week with application season......because we know you would never overlook such a thing.

All Smiles Anyway,
Tracy

Cam Responded:
On behalf of the entire management team, please accept my sincere apology for overlooking National Administrative Professionals’ Day. I promise that this will not happen again this year. As a token of our appreciation for your hard work, dedication and gracious reminder, can we take you to lunch on Monday? No expense will be spared.

I Responded:
Tracy Likes Lilies. I prefer Lilacs and peonies.

Cam then sent out an invite to the following event:
Annual (Belated) National Administrative Professional's Appreciation Day's Lunch Celebration Honoring the Work of Tracy and Mary with a Tribute by Colin.
Lunch is here

Then we shot the shit and talked about chicken and waffles for at least 45 minutes.
I love my job

Beach Bums

Ever since I met my soul mates (in the fall of 2005), part of what makes us, well us, is the occasional last-minute trip to the Oregon Coast. It's monsooning? no worries. We go anyway. We walk up the beach, freeze our asses off, and ask each other questions(and surprisingly, keep learning new things - even after 4 years of non-stop wouldyourathers and ifyouhadtowouldyous). These trips have nearly always been during dead week at school. We needed an escape from our papers, presentations, and finals so we got in the car (sometimes as late as 10pm) and headed to the coast. I guess for people who grew up with warm water beaches and palm trees the Oregon Coast might leave something to be desired but I love it there. We don't have dead week anymore but we do have plenty of things to escape so yesterday we decided that a late afternoon beach trip was in order. Such a good choice. Most of our choices are good choices. Well, some of them are. But this one definitely was. One of the most beautiful days at the beach I've ever seen. And warm. So warm.

And now, time for some throw backs...

Midnight Masquerade

Fun Fact: My senior Prom was 5 years ago today. Time flies.

Is someone gonna throw a turtle shell at me?

I actually slipped on a banana peel last night. In real life.
The culprit

Dear Mary from last night,

There are a couple things that we need to discuss. Maybe your decision making skills aren't what they once were. Maybe without school to exercise your critical thinking abilities you've forgotten just exactly what poor choices look like. Let me remind you.
For one, when Melissa calls you at 6pm on a Wednesday night, already drunk, and tells you that you're going out tonight- do not, I repeat, do NOT turn away from the laundry room door, basket of clothes in hand, and go upstairs to change.
When Jessica tells you that she'll meet you after her show and you already had to spend a good half hour just getting her to answer her phone, don't believe her. She will keep you waiting (and drinking) until well past midnight and then call you at 3am. You work at 8.
Never. NEVER, accidentally begin an exchange between your best friend who's been drinking for at least 6 hours and a man you may or may not have recently slept with. This is important, Mary from last night.
DO eat a TV dinner before you go to sleep. This is why you're able to function right now. Well played.
DO set your alarm BEFORE you start drinking. Again, well played Mary from last night. You surprise me sometimes with your insight.

That's all the wisdom I have for you at this juncture, Mary from last night. Get your shit together, okay?

With Love, Mary from this morning.

Kicking Some Sunday Mass

So I'm on a kickball team with Underdog here in Portland. We play every Sunday for 6 weeks.I thought it would be a fun way to meet new people so I'm playing with strangers and so far, so good. Our team name is 'Kicking Some Sunday Mass' and surprisingly I didn't come up with it. Apparently people who sign up to drink and play grade school games on Sundays aren't especially religious folks. Each team gets colored T-shirts. We got white. Seriously? White? So I'm tie-dying all of them for the team. And puffy-painting our names on. And probably ironing on the team name. Not that is is surprising.
I'm not good at kickball. In fact, I'm not good at any sports involving hand-eye coordination. Just isn't my thang, mang. So imagine my surprise when the folks over at Underdog so graciously mentioned me in the Play of the Week. See Below

POTW: Mike Michaud

Kicking Some Sunday Mass- Indy #1

Kicking Some Sunday Mass showed up for their first week of Underdog Kickball ever to play! In an all-around good game Mike showed off his skills and concentration with the most spectacular catch of the day! With a fly-ball to the shallow right field Mary came charging into make the catch. With a tough ball to catch she ended up making the right play by knocking the ball back up in the air just enough for Mike to get a few fingers on it. Of course it couldn't be as easy as that, so...Mike made it a little more interesting! He not only bobbled the ball once, but twice and did this all while falling to the ground and contorting his body into positions I didn't know were possible. Oh, and yes, after the few bobbles Mike did make the spectacular catch while on the ground! A unique display of concentration and body parts moving in all sorts of places it was well worthy of Highlight of the Day!

I'm so fucking strategic with my missed catches. Not. Thanks for the vote of confidence (and/or bold-faced lie), Underdog.

So naturally, I sent this around to everyone in my office with the title "not to toot my own horn but...toot toot"
I was rewarded with little tiny men playing kickball on my desk.

This only reinforced something that I already knew- I really need to step up the ridiculousness of my kickball attire. Green singlet, viking horns, capes, gold spanks...something. I mean, playing off of our name I'm sure I could do something really blasphemous that would make me pretty happy but I'm looking to make friends not enemies so I suppose I'll keep the blasphemy to a minimum.

Swallowing-easier said than done

Anyone who has been around me over the last few days has heard me bitch about my chest hurting. It hurts when I eat, swallow, burp, breath deeply. This has been going on since Friday evening when I thought I was choking on my own throat and spent a couple hours in my bathroom whilst my friends snoozed away in my apartment, oblivious to my near death experience. It continued through Saturday, making drinking painful but don't worry I'm not a quitter or a weakling and I still managed to have a sufficiently silly Eugene night. As it is now Tuesday and it still feels like there are angry stick people readjusting themselves in my esophagus every time I swallow, I'm getting a bit worried. And when I am worried about my health, I do what any other responsible and concerned adult would do- I WebMD it (yes I just verbed that noun). But, for the first time in my life (and probably in human history) WebMD failed me pretty completely. It thinks I have GERD. Which I probably do. But this isn't heart burn this is stick people in my chest.
SO-I did some more internet research. I've self-diagnosed with the help of strangers. According to this forum, I am probably suffering the repercussions of swallowing pills without water which is actually something I have always prided myself on. "Hey Mary would you like a glass of water to swallow that pill?" "Oh, no kind citizen. Save that natural resource for someone who needs it. I got this. *gulp* ta da."
I may or may not have an ulcer or some such thing as a result of a stuck pill sitting in my throat and irritating the shit out of the lining of my esophagus. Apparently this swallowing pills without water thing isn't a good idea and I'm going to have to stop my showing off because this fucking hurts.
The moral of this story is no matter how badass you are, don't swallow pills without water. Or v8. Or iced tea. Or vodka. I'm sure all of these things work equally well. Read the label on your meds though folks. Some things might not mix well with v8.



I imagine that the angry stick people in my chest look something like the other mother-but meaner.